I was driving home from dropping friends off at the airport. Deja Vu by Olivia Rodrigo came on the radio. I have had my parents, my sister, and 4 friends visit over the last few months and have been playing the desert director role. I started to laugh in the car because I found it ironic that this particular song came because some of those touring days I felt as if I had deja vu, visiting the same places weeks apart with different people. Luckily, I really didn't have much overlap though because I tried to personalize everyone's trips, but there were times when I was repeating sightseeing options.
I really never paid attention to the lyrics before, so I came home and looked them up on the internet. Reading them really struck a chord. Olivia was interviewed by Rolling Stone and was asked about the song. She had replied, "Sometimes when you break up with someone and watch them live the life they lived [with you] with another partner, that can be really frustrating. I think that's a universal, relatable thing that happens." The chord was struck because I happened to see a few pics posted by my ex-brother-in-law from the memorial service for my ex's father that was held last weekend. I think some of that feeling came from the fact that my children were not in attendance, yet his new wife and her son was there. Other feelings came from not being able to be there for the service after spending 20 years plus as part of the family. It felt like a disconnect for me.
The funny thing about the Deja vu outings is that every year we visit my family in NJ and we do many of the same things over and over just different enough to feel like we did it all before. Atlantic city, just a different hotel. Boat rides, maybe a new boat, a different crew or a new destination. New York, a new site to visit, an unusual new museum, a great restaurant or bar to sit at. I suppose I realized sometimes our best moments of déjà vu turn into traditions. Traditions are the family memories that keep me grounded. The times family celebrate, get together, and reconnect. I can tell you no matter what has transpired, these family times have and do mean more to me than most anything else.
The funny thing about traditions is, even if they change, its ok. We have learned to adjust, because although they may be different, the essence is the same. Each of these changes always makes me pause and reflect. Sometimes they are better changes, sometimes they cause sadness. Either way, I move forward. I still do all the same things I have always loved to do. I am truly blessed to have friends and family in my life to celebrate all of the amazing things that life has to offer.
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