Did you ever have one of those crazy moments when you hear from somebody unexpectedly and then they drop a bomb on you that has you reeling for the rest of the day? I recently heard from someone and it got me thinking about red flags. I think that all relationships, whether brand new, long term dating, or marriage can have those "red flag" moments. It can be a passing comment or an omission of commentary that pauses you to wonder.
Red flags in a relationship indicate something that needs to be addressed. There are obvious ones, abuse or controlling behavior but there are also subtle flags that make your intuition go into high alert. Your friends and family may not care for your partner. Your partner may not have friends and rely only on you for all of their needs. As I continue to date, I tend to notice if someone is not a good communicator, irresponsible, or seems to be hiding a dark past. I probably have a heightened awareness of what makes me pause for concern in a relationship stemming from residual fears from the affair. The good news is that has meant for some remarkably interesting dating.
The goal is to feel safe in our relationships, but relationships are complicated. For me, listening to my gut instincts help me note a potential problem. I want to continue to thrive with my family life, my social life, my spirituality, so listening to my inner knowingness is key to facing problems that require attention. Life gives us choices every day. I am going to try and not immediately run from the potential problems, but rather give them a chance to see how it will turn out.
Getting back to that phone call. I will keep my guard up and listen and contemplate and try to make the right choices. That red flag is dangling in front of my face, but this time it is trust. I will pray. I will put aside the fear. I will be open and honest and I will give with all of my heart if the moment arises that the red flag changes to white.
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